I've been sick and I got an ear infection....which has never happened before.....and it hurts a LOT. But what's worse is that my tinnitus came back....I got it from that JRock live concert back in May. I didn't know at the time that my ears were more vulnerable than other people's due to my stunted thyroid, so I didn't protect them. Now I'm sick and one of my ears is ringing! A soft yet high-pitched whine like a fire alarm. ;_; I would cry except that I don't cry, so I guess this sentance is pointless. But....ow....this WOULD happen RIGHT before everyone decides that they're not going to be opened for Christmas and stuff...

I had a dream that I was at my Japanese school and a Korean lady was telling me something frantically, and when I tried to tell her that I didn't understand, I could only speak Mandarin. 0_0 

I think I need to maybe study less.

Just watched a segment of Massinun TV where Kangin and Shindong were eating a live octopus and talking to a man who couldn't dance for beans....or any of the other disgusting stuff on that table, like eel and some type of friend animal skin, and what looked like tall grass that was peeled in half and soaked in boiling water and corn starch. @_@ If it was anyone else eating that stuff I'm ashamed to say I'd turn it off immediately, but what can I say, watching people who wear rainbow bracelets entertains me....besides, seeing a segment of the Don't Don PV on TV and telling my brother that no, Kangin is not TOP was interesting. And that aside, I'm now very worried about the AFS sending me to Korea instead of Japan....'cause I'd be telling people "excuse me while I go vomit my guts out at the very concept of some of this stuff" at every meal. Considering how food is like.....life in a nutshell (at least from the impression I've recieved) to Koreans I guess I'll just horrify them.

Still.....MAN, I love me some Korean TV stations.

I've just made the delightful discovery that I've got about 5% less body fat percentage than the average female of my ethnicity. Cool.

And, in other news, I can use either one of my Chae Kyeong skirts to cosplay Nok Su from my favorite movie ever, Wang-ui Namja. =3 Hoorah for that......was I the only person who still kinda liked Nok Su? I know she's rather an insufferable bitch, but heck, if a man I was involved with ditched me and replaced me with another man, I'd be less that pleased too. XD

It's probably unhealthy that the very presence of my sister is enough to make me mad. It makes me feel sick, as though a warm, wet lump of celluclay has housed itself in my stomach, and rather like there's a heavy cloud looming over my life...although I'd guess that [the cloud] could also be the heavy smoke covering the sky over my town. But I digress.

It's probably really rude of me to burden the internet with this little tirade, but if I don't I'm going to go crazy.

My sister is supposed to go to her dad's abode as of every Friday and basically GTFO of my life for at least a short time. I love that time SO FECKIN' MUCH. She's gone and not around giggling and typing and besmirching things with her unwashed hands or trying to engage me in undoubtedly boring as hell conversations about a friend-of-a-friend's-boyfriend's-friend. She's not there expecting me to laugh and be 'super excited' or to agree or to suddenly change every minute detail of my personality to be compatible with hers, for I do think that unless I did that it would be nearly impossible for us to get along. She wants to know details about what I'm doing when it absolutely doesn't concern her. She makes comments about stuff that has no relation to her.....it's incredibly fake. She's desperate, for some odd reason, for me to be her ZOMGBESTESTFRIENDEVAR or some such poppycock bullcrap.

Now, the problem is that this doesn't involve ME, per se. It involves her mental image of the perfect me who is just like her-boy crazy, wearing badly applied but high pigmented make-up, straightening my hair and wasting most of my life on myspace, popular music or trying to make myself popular with similarly idiotic people who have the vocabulary of a ten-year-old diva. She's also decided, (while completely disregarding my distaste of those of the male persuasion due to past trauma) that I, direct quote, "Need to get a boyfriend! So that I can help you and stuff!"

Whatever type of inconsiderate person would assume that I need HELP if I had a relationship which I don't want anyway is not someone I want to be associating with, because to get to the point: I find it insulting. And that's the tip of the iceberg.

She feels hurt that I'm not physically affectionate towards her; that I don't like bodies to be anywhere near me. It's not my fault she thinks the whole world should be hugging and kissing each other all the time. And she's not very clean- she never washes her face except in the shower and as far as I can see, she washes her hands about once a day. There's always juice or sugar or salt or grease all over her hands, and no matter what, I can ALWAYS hear her chewing in a fashion reminiscent of a cow and it's cud. It's really lovely. [/sarcasm]

Worst of all is how damn HARD she tries to get my affections....it's not that I hate her, but I'm not as violently passionate in my sisterly affections as she. And what I hate most is desperate people.....if she's insecure enough with herself that she thinks she has to put up a half-assed facade to get my 'approval' (for that is how she considers it I'm told) then that's not really the type of person I want to be around....I'm drawn to strong people; people like myself who don't give a flying rat's ass (for lack of more eloquent terms) what other people think about them. I would say it's like having an incapable wounded puppy following you all over, except that puppies have certain redeeming qualities like loyalty, honestly, and guilt when you coax it from them. So....more like having a whining cat going after you, trying to rub on your legs until you pick it up and carry it. Once it spots someone who suits it's fancy more, it will drop you like a hot potato-or rather, scratch you until you do that to it, so that it might sally forth on a quest for the next person's affections. I like people who don't need me, and who I don't wind up obligated to.  

Not to mention that my sister hasn't always treated me well....for at least 4 years I was constantly cleaning up her messes, making her food, putting her shoes away, and hiding some of her internet affairs from our mother. However, now I'm not covering her ass, as they say, so much anymore. So, she has no reason to expect massive bursts or sibling love from me, when pretty much, all I do now is make her bed for her occasionally and get ignored the moment someone more cool comes along. And she's just not my type.....blood must be incomprehensibly thicker than water, because I'm sure if I just met her on the street, I'd never talk to her for more than 5 minutes, and then probably avoid her from then onwards. Aish,  as Ms. Yoo would say.

So basically....she's around. The ONE DAY OF THE WEEK THAT I GET A FRIGGIN' BREAK FROM HER, and she's still here.

Well, there goes my week-long anticipations of spending my night on soompi and kpophumor.....my sister told me that she stays up at night (while faking sleep behind me) 'just to see me happy and laughing at stuff on the computer.' If that's not the most FECKING CREEPY thing ever, than I don't know what is.

M

Ms. Yoo is an excellent audience. 8D

She loved my photos. It was really sweet....I think probably because she's a dancer and model-y person (whos lovely countenance even at an age older than my mothers makes me envious) she appreciated it more fully. But dang, it was fun. I rather regret knowing her only in a teacher-y capacity, and not in a person-to-person one more.


In other news, I might be getting a cell phone for myself one of these days....although I'm pretty sure I'll wind up paying for it without help. Despite promises from my mother of her making the purchase in my stead, I doubt it'll happen, as she only promised it because my sister lost the phone I had before when she took it to a football game. And most assuredly her dad will buy her a new, more expensive one. *sigh* Such is life, I suppose.

Let's bring the mood up a bit:

I finally got a layout on here. <3 It's pre-made, but it's far more visually appealing than the previous default eyesore I had.

On one more positive note...I'm gonna start posting pictures of my last photoshoot soon. So Phoenix (if you read this) please continue to make speculations about what's under my skirt. XD

I just saw Dong Bang Shin Ki AND Kang Ta on TV in America in one night?

Sa-weet.

Anyways, it was brief, but I enjoyed it none the less. Eye candy does not need to last long.

...than people who make stupid, unbased assumptions about stuff they don't know shit about.

So, my friend had her birthday party today, and after she drew a picture, she asked me to name the character. I gave it a normal name- in fact, she only needed me for a family name. Her otaku friend gave the given name. Anyway, one of her guy friends picked up the picture, read the name and said, "that's so white-washed." 

Okay, I know. I shouldn't be so mad about this. But seriously, it'd be like a foreigner calling someone "Mr. Brown". It's a normal, common, real name. If it sounds 'white-washed', that's cause it's common. It's common for a reason- 'CAUSE IT'S REAL. Be glad I made a name that's actually real, and not something that just sounds un-english like a fangirl. Geez. I named him after my frickin' teacher.

I spent a year working my ass off to speak Japanese, and now I can. The people from Osaka can prove it. I'm not an idiot 'otaku'- people don't even really know what otaku means. Watch Akihabara@Deep and I'm sure they'll never call themselves that again. In fact, I find that I rather despise anime. It's so full of idiocy, stereotypes, and stuff that just doesn't make any sense. I wish people didn't assume I like anime, or worse, that I like Japan because of anime. I was writing reports on Japan from the age of 6, dammit. I was making lame hanfu for myself when I was 4. My interest in asian culture is far beyond anime, and that sort of ignorance just kills me. No one can really appreciate what I'm doing because no one will believe why. 

In other news, Korean Guy attempted to speak Korean to me. I wish I was more conversational. That was my chance to practice on someone, and all I mannaged was '...wut?' You can see how my vocabulary needs expanding. I hope....really, really hope, that when I can talk right I'll see him again and prove that I'm not stupid.

Last night I finished watching Moon Child, and all I got to say is lol. I know so many people (read: fangirls) say they cried, it's such a moving movie, blah blah blah, but honestly, I just found it humorously cheesy. And there were so many little holes in the plot. And Gackt's english...oh gosh, he sounds like Willy Wonka to me. x_x Probably some people will kill me for that, but the lilt is the same. XD

Following that (aka to clear my brain out) I started watching Fly High. I seem to like tragic medical movies, 'cause then diabetes seems like peanuts. And the acting is pretty good. I've been on a huge Ji Hyun Woo kick since I started watching Mae Ri Dae Gu Attack and Defense Battle on LA18, which is an excellent drama in my opinion. (He looks like a stray dog. =D) But this movie is really good. I will finish it today.

All through this movie-watching I was beading Yukari, and gosh....I will die. But hopefully I can finish the first third of my skirt today. Let's hope. And maybe...*gaps* A sleeve?

So, today I want to:
Finish Fly High
Finish beading Yukari skirt section 1
Finish Ruki collar
Do Korean homework...some of it.
Make awesome Japanese-style skirt

Yeah...my new friends from Osaka declared that I am a designer. So they gave me tons of Japanese fashion magazines to inspire me and...I'm dying to make crazy stuff like they wear. I shall enjoy this. And now I have a DBSK interview to read.

Well, I was stuck in a car with my whole family and my sister's boyfriend who I do not like, and I told my mother that I was not going to climb this friggin' huge hill to get back to our appartment just so that she could drive my sister's boyfriend who I do not like home. I've been ill all day, and not in any condition to go exercising. And then my sister, in her best 'ohmigawd teenager' voice, said that I was "a monster who fights and kicks and screams until she gets her way."
Um....yeah. Right, the person who does everything all by her lonesome and who wants nothing to do with you is totally in your way, miss elli.
Then she says, with one of those snarky Queen Bee smiles, "I guess the wheel that squeaks gets the grease." 

Oooh, big metaphore for you. I applaud you on the correct use of it.

What squeaking? I work my ass of for every cent I get. I never ask anyone for help with anything. Heck, I WALKED BACK from my Korean lesson today because my mom ditched me, despite illness. I didn't call her back, or wait for anything, I just took care of myself. Why do I have a 'hermitage'? Oh, that's right, as not to be a problem to anybody. I feed myself, clean everything myself as well as her crap, I teach myself, I provide entertainment for myself even. As for Elli, she needs to get 50 dollars here and 20 there when she never gets off her lazy ass and does any work at all. She 'needs' to see someone every day she can, and if you say no, she bursts into tears and mopes all day, and makes herself out to be a victim. She's done nothing to give her complaint rights. She reminds me of Sha Hui from Peach Girl- 'in this game, the first one to cry wins'. And she has the gall to give me that stupid, triumphant look when she doesn't realize how easy it is to throw that back in her face.

Seriously, she thinks everything grows on trees. Well, I injure myself greatly and disregard my health just to attain what I do. You think I squeak, dear? Well, lemme tell you something, noona, if I squeak, then you roar with all the volume of a hurricane.